Twisted Humor!

How would you like it if you woke up one fine morning and found a 67 foot tall statue of some random Brit-American in front of your beachside house? What if, to your agitated enquiry, someone told you that it was put up for a film set, and by the way, it is going to stay for ever after that? Alternatively, imagine what the reaction would be if someone put up a 67 foot tall statue of Tenali Rama in front of the Masjid at Mecca or at Vatican Square? Would the pious followers that worship there doff their hats in appreciation of the great wit, or would they do a Bamiyan, alleging "Hindu fundamentalist assault on peaceful Islam/ Christism", "Islam/ Christism in Danger" etc?

The original controversy regarding Charlie Chaplin's statue in Mangalore's beaches is clearly stated in Hindustan Times here:
http://www.hindustantimes.com/StoryPage/StoryPage.aspx?id=1f739699-8559-41a4-a504-7d0173b40bec

Clearly as per the above article, the so called controversy came up because the Director of the movie had decided to put up the statue without any official clearances, and without checking the convenience of the villagers. This, and the perfectly legitimate objection that the statue was coming up in a place where it was blocking the entrance to the local temple.

And now look how the wonderful media has twisted the story now:
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/India/Christian-Chaplin-statue-sparks-controversy-in-Karnataka/rssarticleshow/4264831.cms

Suddenly, this has become a "Christian" controversy, with "Hindoo Fundoos" crawling out of the woodwork! Shame, Shame on the media for selling their souls and their civilization for money. This destructive force unleashed upon India through the airwaves must be destroyed, nay, atomised, for peace to prevail in this nation. It is time some of these arrogant, completely unaccountable blackguards were made such an example of, that the rest of these 5th columnists tremble even when the breath of a true Indian brushes by them.

Really Sucks!

I have 2 storylines to offer to Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra.

The first one is very similar to his “Rang De Basanti” but with a few small changes
· Replace the no-hoper students with a set of genuinely sincere ones cutting across caste, class and religious lines (Hint – Youth for Equality) protesting and losing their lives over a divisive “reservation” policy
· Exchange the corrupt and arrogant “saffron” minister with an equally corrupt and arrogant HRD minister from the so called secular party, bent upon dividing youth on the lines of caste and religion
· Replace the young Hindutva zealot Laxman Pandey with a young communist or “social activist” who sees through the shallow game of the secularists and changes sides.

The second is a heartwarming story where a “Brahmin” Head-Priest of the Rameswaram Temple mentors the Muslim son of a boatman and supports his education, and the latter justifies the faith invested by the priest by rising to become India’s foremost rocket scientist and eventually its President.

Both stories are true, but both unfortunately are jarringly mismatched with Rakeyshjis view of the world and hence, will never come on the silver screen.

With Dilli 6, Rakeysh has clearly been emboldened by his backers to take on the anti-Hindu pontification to new heights. A sample list of the levers adopted by ROM in Dilli 6:
· Open mockery of the Ramayana using the Ram Lila as the background
· Subtle equation of the original being-who-can-do-no-wrong – Hanuman – to the Kala Bandar
· Portrayal of all Hindu characters as flawed (brothers fighting, the aged Lalaji with a Twinkie at home, Suresh the Photographer as a Lothario)
· Exaggeration of “Superstitious” Hindu beliefs eg a cow giving birth being given precedence over the Grandmother’s “ambulance”
· The “Dalit” garbage lady who is openly discriminated against, but is seen to shine in the end
· Portrayal of all Muslim characters as nice, sweet guys who offer jalebis in celebration of Hindu festivals and who are “provoked” by Hindus into retaliation – the eternal victimhood theory getting one more data point
· The “fakir” who holds a mirror – why ascribe a religion even to the conscience of the movie? Couldn’t ROM have used a generic madman, for example?

The list is endless.

Interestingly enough, a movie set in the heart of Delhi doesn’t even have a single Sikh character – to me this seems in stark contrast to what I’ve seen of Delhi – the genial, hard-working and hospitable Sardar seemed to be ubiquitous . Perhaps, in ROM’s ideal world, all of them have been eliminated as early as 1984 by his sponsors?

Rakeyshmian, real life is somewhat different. When your sponsors invite the beards from Swat to power in Delhi 2 years hence, you wouldn’t even be able to ply your trade. Heard that some Hollywood studio wants to release your movie in English. To your credit, I will say that you’ve done a much better job mocking the idea of India than Danny Boyle and his Slumdog. Wish you all the best in your quest feed off the corpse of the nation!